Healing from Grief: How Somatic Therapy and IFS Therapy Help You Reconnect to Yourself

I. Understanding the Nature of Grief

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by a sense of loss, even from events you didn't initially recognize as grief-worthy? Grief is an emotional response we experience whenever something significant changes or ends in our lives. While it's commonly associated with the death of a loved one, grief also emerges in various life situations, such as:

• Breakups and divorces

• Job transitions or career shifts

• Moving to a new city or home

• Changes in personal identity or life roles (e.g., becoming a parent, retirement)

Common Questions About Grief

You might find yourself wondering:

• "Why am I feeling such intense emotions over this?"

• "Is it normal to feel so physically drained from grief?"

These are essential questions, as grief deeply impacts both our minds and bodies.

Emotional Manifestations of Grief

Emotionally, grief can manifest in several ways, including:

• Deep sadness and loneliness

• Feelings of confusion and uncertainty

• Anger or irritability

• Anxiety and fear of the unknown

Physical Symptoms of Grief

Grief isn't just emotional—it often has powerful physical symptoms, such as:

• Exhaustion and fatigue

• Heaviness or tightness in the chest

• Headaches or migraines

• Sleep disturbances or insomnia

• Loss of appetite or digestive issues

  
  

Take a moment to reflect: Have you ever noticed how your body reacts to stress, sadness, or grief? Perhaps you've experienced tension in your muscles, restlessness, or even numbness. Recognizing these physical sensations is an essential step toward healing.

How Internal Family Systems (IFS Therapy) and Somatic Therapy Can Help

This is precisely where therapies like Internal Family Systems (IFS therapy) and Somatic Therapy become invaluable. Both modalities uniquely address the mind-body connection, helping you gently navigate and process grief:

• Internal Family Systems (IFS Therapy): An IFS therapist supports you in identifying the distinct "parts" within yourself that react differently to grief. Each part holds unique emotions or protective responses, and your therapist guides you to offer compassion, understanding, and support to these parts, facilitating deep emotional healing.

• Somatic Therapy: Somatic therapy encourages you to deeply tune into your physical body, releasing tension and emotional blockages stored in your muscles and nervous system, providing emotional relief and restore overall balance.

Support

If you're in Denver and feeling stuck or overwhelmed by grief, connecting with an IFS therapist or exploring somatic therapy might offer the compassionate and supportive approach you need. Could your grief be guiding you toward deeper self-understanding and healing? Let's explore this transformative journey together.

II. How We Block Grief

Recognizing Protective Responses to Grief

Have you ever noticed that when grief becomes overwhelming, other powerful emotions or reactions seem to suddenly appear, almost as if they're shielding you from feeling too much pain? This isn't unusual—it's a common way our internal systems cope with intense grief. When loss feels too immense, parts of us step in, creating protective barriers. These barriers often manifest as:

• Anger or irritability

• Guilt or regret

• Depression or numbness

• Anxiety or excessive worry

• Avoidance or distraction

When grief becomes overwhelming, it's natural for parts of us to step in and protect us from experiencing the full intensity of the pain. Recognizing these protective responses can guide you toward greater compassion and understanding as you navigate your grief. Let's explore each response more deeply together:

1. Anger or Irritability

Have you ever found yourself unexpectedly snapping at friends or family, or becoming irritable over small inconveniences after experiencing a loss? Anger often arises to shield us from feeling powerless or deeply vulnerable. It gives us a temporary sense of control, masking deeper feelings of sadness, helplessness, or fear. Reflecting on these moments, what deeper emotions might your anger be protecting you from?

2. Guilt or Regret

Have you found yourself caught in cycles of regret, repeatedly asking yourself, "What if I had done something differently?" or "Why didn't I act sooner?" These feelings of guilt are common as your mind attempts to make sense of loss, often by placing blame on yourself. By doing this, your mind tries to regain a sense of control in an uncontrollable situation. Can you recognize this internal critic and offer yourself compassion instead?

3. Depression or Numbness

Has grief ever left you feeling profoundly numb or disconnected, as if you're just going through the motions of life? Depression or emotional numbness can protect us by dulling intense feelings that might otherwise be overwhelming. While this numbness can offer temporary relief, it can also isolate us from our emotional experiences. Can you recall moments of numbness, and gently consider what emotions might lie beneath this protective layer?

4. Anxiety or Excessive Worry

Have you noticed an increase in worry or anxious thoughts following a loss? Anxiety often steps in as a way of managing the uncertainty and unpredictability of grief. This excessive worrying about the future or possible scenarios distracts us from fully experiencing the pain of the present moment. What deeper emotions might anxiety be trying to help you avoid?

5. Avoidance or Distraction

Have you ever found yourself intentionally staying busy or distracting yourself after experiencing grief? Whether through work, social activities, or hobbies, these distractions can temporarily shield us from confronting painful feelings directly. While distraction might feel comforting initially, it can also delay important emotional processing. Reflecting on your experiences, when has distraction felt helpful, and when might it have kept you stuck?

Moving Toward Healing

Recognizing and understanding these protective responses is a powerful step toward deeper self-awareness and healing. Could acknowledging these patterns in yourself help you approach grief with more compassion and less self-judgment? By exploring these emotions openly, you're creating space for genuine healing and growth.

Can You Relate?

Think about a time when you experienced loss or significant life changes:

• Did minor inconveniences suddenly trigger anger or frustration?

• Were you overcome with guilt, replaying situations in your mind and wishing you'd handled them differently?

• Did sadness feel overwhelming, making depression or numbness seem safer than facing the pain directly?

• Have you noticed anxiety taking center stage, protecting you from confronting deeper feelings of vulnerability?

These emotional experiences are natural protective responses. However, they often leave us feeling stuck or unable to fully process our grief.

III. How Internal Family Systems (IFS Therapy) Can Help

This is exactly where Internal Family Systems (IFS therapy) becomes invaluable. IFS therapy provides a compassionate framework to help you:

• Identify and understand the protective emotional responses within you.

• Explore the reasons behind their emergence with curiosity and compassion.

• Learn to communicate gently and effectively with these parts.

Questions an IFS Therapist Might Help You Explore:

• "What is this anger protecting me from feeling?"

• "What fears or deeper pains lie beneath my anxiety or guilt?"

• "How can I reassure these protective parts that it's safe to allow the underlying grief to surface and be processed?"

Through this exploration, you develop compassion and curiosity toward every emotional part of yourself, creating a safe internal space for grief to be felt, expressed, and eventually integrated. The aim isn't to eliminate these protective parts but to appreciate their intentions and gently encourage them to relax their grip, allowing deeper healing to occur.

Reflect on Your Experience

• Have you noticed protective responses during your own grief experiences?

• How might acknowledging and understanding these emotional barriers shift your perspective?

• Could exploring these protective parts be the next step in your healing journey?

If these questions resonate, reaching out to an IFS therapist or exploring somatic therapy could be a transformative first step toward greater peace and emotional freedom.

IV. The Somatic Therapy Approach: Listening to Your Body

Have you ever noticed how your body holds onto grief long after your mind believes it's processed the loss? Grief isn't just emotional—it deeply affects our physical bodies. Somatic therapy acknowledges this powerful mind-body connection, helping you understand and gently release grief stored within your body.

Consider your experience: Have you felt grief as heaviness in your chest, tension in your shoulders, or constant fatigue? These physical sensations are signals of emotional distress stored in your body. Somatic therapy uses techniques like oscillation—gently moving attention between feelings of grief and more neutral sensations—to help your body naturally process and release stored emotional energy.

Somatic therapy encourages you to deeply feel and follow your bodily sensations and instincts. As you tune into these sensations, your body might naturally respond by releasing grief through physical expressions like crying, shaking, deep breathing, rocking, trembling, or even screaming. This process is not only normal but essential, allowing your nervous system to reset and find relief from the stored emotional energy.

Animals instinctively release tension and trauma through shaking, a natural response to stress. Humans also have this innate capacity for releasing stuck energy. Have you ever noticed how crying, shaking, screaming, or even running can provide profound emotional relief? These physical responses help discharge tension and restore emotional balance.

V. Integrating IFS Therapy and Somatic Therapy: A Holistic Path to Healing

Combining Internal Family Systems (IFS therapy) with somatic therapy creates a powerful, holistic approach to processing grief. Imagine addressing your grief not only mentally and emotionally but also physically—creating deep, lasting healing on every level.

An IFS therapist helps you compassionately explore and understand the different emotional parts of yourself affected by grief, while somatic ftherapy complements this by facilitating physical release. Integrating these approaches helps release emotional blocks, fostering greater self-awareness, emotional clarity, and resilience.

If you're in Denver, exploring the combined support of an IFS therapist and somatic therapy can offer the nurturing, comprehensive guidance you need.

VII. Conclusion: Viewing Grief as an Opportunity for Growth

What if your grief isn't merely something to be endured but also an invitation to deeper personal growth and self-awareness? Each experience of grief opens an opportunity to better understand your emotions, needs, and strengths.

Reflect for a moment: Has grief ever taught you something valuable about yourself or your relationships? Could leaning into this process, guided by the supportive practices of IFS therapy and somatic therapy, lead you toward greater self-compassion, resilience, and wisdom?

Ultimately, grief can become transformative when approached with curiosity and compassion. Are you ready to embrace grief as a pathway toward deeper healing and growth?

Take the Next Step Toward Healing

Are you ready to explore your grief in a supportive, compassionate environment? You don't have to navigate this journey alone. Reaching out to an IFS therapist trained in somatic therapy can offer the guidance and tools you need to process grief effectively and gently.

If you're in Denver, connect today to start your path toward emotional freedom, resilience, and deeper self-understanding. Your healing journey can begin now.

Schedule your first session and discover the transformative power of integrated IFS and somatic therapy.

References:

• Levine, P. A. (2010). In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness. North Atlantic Books.

• Ogden, P., & Fisher, J. (2015). Sensorimotor Psychotherapy: Interventions for Trauma and Attachment. W. W. Norton & Company.

• Ross, E.K., & Kessler, D. (2005). On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss. Scribner.

• Schwartz, R. C. (2021). No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model. Sounds True.

• Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin Books.

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Dennis Guyvan, a therapist in Denver, CO. He provides individual in-person/online therapy and life coaching in Denver, CO and online coaching worldwide . Schedule your free 30-minute therapy consultation with Dennis Guyvan.  

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