Why You Might Feel “Worse” Before You Feel Better in EMDR Therapy

Dennis Guyvan
13 minutes ago
8 min read

I. Introduction

So, you’ve started EMDR therapy—or you’re thinking about it—and you’re hearing that unsettling phrase:

“You might feel worse before you feel better.”

Naturally, your first thought might be: Why would I want that? Isn’t therapy supposed to make me feel better?

It’s a completely valid question.

Here’s the truth: EMDR therapy is designed to help you move through long-held trauma, emotional pain, and protective beliefs—not just talk about them. That process is often transformative, but like any deep healing journey, it can stir things up before it settles.

Many clients I work with in EMDR therapy in Denver report feeling more tired, emotional, anxious, or even unsettled in the early stages of treatment. It’s not a sign of failure. It’s not because you’re doing something wrong.

Ocean storm as symbol of the start of EMDR therapy in Denver

In fact, it’s often a sign that something meaningful is starting to shift.

In this blog, I’ll walk you through why that happens, how to support yourself through it, and how EMDR helps you move from short-term discomfort to long-term, embodied healing.

II. EMDR Works at the Level of the Nervous System

Unlike traditional talk therapy—which primarily engages your thinking brain (neocortex)—EMDR therapy works directly with the emotional brain (limbic system) and the nervous system, where unprocessed trauma and painful memories often live.

Many of the symptoms people bring to therapy—chronic anxiety, overthinking, emotional numbness, reactivity—aren’t just mental. They’re physiological responses to unresolved experiences. Often, your body is still bracing for something that’s already over.

This is where EMDR therapy is different—and powerful.

It helps you access and reprocess the stored emotional and sensory experiences related to past events, especially those that your brain couldn’t fully “digest” at the time. These may include:

Childhood attachment wounds
Moments of rejection, humiliation, or powerlessness
Traumas that weren’t “big,” but were overwhelming to your system
Events that left you feeling frozen, confused, or unsafe

When you begin EMDR, your system starts to loosen its grip on those old patterns. That’s good news—but it can come with temporary discomfort. You may begin to feel emotions you once had to numb. You might notice body sensations that have long been buried. You may experience dreams, flashbacks, or feelings that seem to come “out of nowhere.”

It’s not regression. It’s reorganization. Your nervous system is learning to finally complete what was once left unfinished.

In my EMDR therapy practice in Denver, I help clients understand that healing isn’t always linear or polished—but it is absolutely possible. When we work with the body, emotions, and memory together, we don’t just “cope” better—we actually heal.

III. Why You Might Feel Worse Before You Feel Better

If you’ve noticed yourself feeling more emotional, anxious, tired, or even stirred up since starting EMDR, you’re not doing anything wrong.

In fact, this is one of the most common—and most misunderstood—parts of the EMDR healing process.

When we start processing trauma or emotionally charged memories using EMDR therapy, the nervous system is being asked to do something it may not have had the space or safety to do before: fully feel and metabolize what was once overwhelming.

Here are a few reasons why things might feel harder before they get easier:

1. You’re Becoming More Aware

One of the early shifts in EMDR therapy is that you start becoming more conscious of what’s been unconscious. This might include emotions, thoughts, or bodily sensations that have been buried or numbed out for years—sometimes decades.

You might begin noticing:

Grief or sadness that you don’t “understand”
Old thought patterns you hadn’t realized were so loud
Physical sensations like tightness in the chest or stomach
Sudden emotional responses that feel disproportionate

This isn’t a setback. It’s the first sign that your system is opening to healing.

2. Your System Is “Stirring the Waters”

Think of EMDR like stirring the bottom of a lake. For a while, it might feel murky and uncomfortable—but that’s only because the deeper material is coming to the surface to be cleared.

After targeting specific memories or emotional themes, many clients report:

Feeling more fatigued or mentally foggy
Vivid dreams or sleep disruptions
Sudden waves of sadness, irritability, or emotional vulnerability
Crying unexpectedly or feeling more emotionally “raw”

This is the body’s way of releasing stored energy—energy that’s often been held in the background for years. Though uncomfortable, these sensations are a signal that your nervous system is engaging with the process.

3. You’re Letting Go of Old Protective Patterns

Another reason EMDR can feel destabilizing at first is that it challenges long-held beliefs and coping strategies—especially those that have kept you “safe” in the past.

For example:

Letting go of “I have to be perfect to be loved” might feel freeing, but also leave you wondering who you are without that role.
Releasing “I can’t trust anyone” might bring up uncertainty and vulnerability, even as it opens space for connection.
Processing an old trauma might bring grief for the time you lost surviving it.

This phase often brings a strange emotional paradox: feeling both better and more tender, more awake and more tired, more clear and more confused—all at once.

It’s messy… but healing usually is.

Water calmness as a symbol of the results of EMDR therapy in Denver

That’s why in my EMDR therapy practice in Denver, I always emphasize pacing, resourcing, and nervous system safety. When clients understand that these “hard” moments are part of a larger healing arc, they feel more empowered to stay the course—and eventually reach the breakthroughs that are waiting on the other side.

V. What Comes After the Discomfort

If you stay with the process, something beautiful happens:That internal intensity begins to soften.Your nervous system starts to settle.And those old triggers? They lose their power.

After moving through the initial layers of emotional discomfort in EMDR therapy, clients often describe a new, unfamiliar sense of ease. Not because life is perfect—but because they’re no longer reacting from old wounds.

You may start to notice:

You respond rather than react to stressful situations
Things that used to activate you don’t hit the same emotional depth
You feel more grounded, clear, and connected to your body
You begin trusting yourself—your feelings, your needs, your voice
Emotional pain becomes a wave, not a whirlpool

This is the moment when clients often say:

“I didn’t even realize how heavy I’d been carrying that… until it was gone.”

And the best part? These shifts are often lasting, because they’re happening at the level of the nervous system—not just in your thoughts.

In my work providing EMDR therapy in Denver, this is what we work toward—not just symptom relief, but deep integration. You begin to embody the truth that healing doesn’t mean forgetting or bypassing the past—it means the past no longer controls your present.

VI. Final Thoughts: You’re Not Doing It Wrong—You’re Doing It Right

If you’ve been feeling more emotional, anxious, unsettled, or tender since beginning EMDR, I want you to hear this loud and clear:

You’re not backsliding. You’re healing.

It may not feel like it in the moment, especially if you’re someone who’s learned to cope by staying “in control.” But allowing those deeper layers to surface—tears, anger, grief, confusion—is a sign that your system finally feels safe enough to process what’s been waiting inside.

Healing is not a straight line. It’s a spiral.And sometimes you revisit hard places—not because you're stuck, but because you're moving through them in a new way, with new awareness and more support.

If you're navigating this process on your own, or you’re just beginning to explore EMDR, know that you're not alone. In my practice offering EMDR therapy in Denver, I specialize in helping clients move through the hard parts gently, at their own pace, with deep respect for the wisdom of their nervous system.

💬 I offer a free 30-minute Zoom consultation for those curious about EMDR or wondering if now is the right time. Whether you're just beginning your healing journey or looking for deeper integration, I’d be honored to walk alongside you.

You’re not broken.
You’re not failing.
You’re doing the work—and you’re doing it beautifully.

VII. How to Know When It’s Too Much, Too Fast

While emotional discomfort is a normal part of healing, EMDR therapy should never feel overwhelming or unsafe.

There’s a difference between healthy emotional release and nervous system flooding. In fact, one of the most important elements of trauma-informed EMDR is pacing—making sure your system is regulated enough to process without becoming overloaded.

You might need to slow down if you’re noticing:

Intense emotional flooding that lasts for days
Feeling spacey, dissociated, or disconnected from your body
Nightmares, panic, or physical exhaustion that doesn’t ease
Trouble functioning in daily life after sessions

These are signs that your nervous system is processing more than it can safely handle at once.

And it doesn’t mean you’re “not ready.” It simply means you need more resourcing and stabilization before diving deeper into trauma work.

In my EMDR therapy work in Denver, I always emphasize trauma-informed care. We move at your pace, not a protocol’s. That might mean:

Starting with resourcing and body-based safety tools
Strengthening your connection to internal or external supports
Targeting smaller, less overwhelming memories before deeper ones

Healing is not about pushing—it’s about allowing.And the more you honor your limits, the safer and more sustainable your healing becomes.

VIII. What to Expect as You Keep Going

Once your system learns that healing can happen safely and gradually, everything starts to shift. You may begin to notice:

Your post-session discomfort decreases over time
You recover faster from emotional waves
You feel stronger, more present, and more self-aware between sessions
You begin to look forward to therapy—not fear it

Pink sky and water calmness as a symbol of the results from EMDR therapy in Denver

It’s not that EMDR becomes “easy,” but it becomes trustable. You learn that even if a session stirs things up, you now have the tools—and the inner stability—to move through it.

Clients often describe this shift as:

“I still feel things—but I don’t fear them anymore.”

“I don’t dread the hard sessions because I know something good is on the other side.”

“I feel more like myself—not the version of me who was always surviving.”

This is what it looks like when trauma healing becomes integration. When you’re no longer ruled by the past, but grounded in the present—and open to the future.

If you’re looking for a space to explore EMDR with thoughtful pacing, somatic awareness, and a compassionate guide, I offer EMDR therapy in Denver for individuals ready to do the deep work—at a pace that feels safe, steady, and real.

💬 Book your free 30-minute Zoom consultation today to see if EMDR is right for you. You don’t have to do this alone—and you don’t have to rush.You just have to start.

References

Badenoch, B. (2008). Being a Brain-Wise Therapist: A Practical Guide to Interpersonal Neurobiology. W. W. Norton & Company.

Levine, P. A. (2010). In an Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness. North Atlantic Books.

Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. W. W. Norton & Company.

Rothschild, B. (2010). 8 Keys to Safe Trauma Recovery: Take-Charge Strategies to Empower Your Healing. W. W. Norton & Company.

Shapiro, F. (2018). Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy: Basic Principles, Protocols, and Procedures (3rd ed.). The Guilford Press.

Siegel, D. J. (2012). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are (2nd ed.). The Guilford Press.

Van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.

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Dennis Guyvan, a therapist in Denver, CO. He provides individual in-person/online therapy and life coaching in Denver, CO and online coaching worldwide . Schedule your free 30-minute therapy consultation with Dennis Guyvan.